The one with the crush.

I know it is not seemly for a woman of advanced years such as I to have a crush, but these things happen.  And we are not talking about crushing on some some young buck, which would be creepy, but someone who is at least as old as me if not older.  It is probably not even called a crush at our age.

I have known this man for a good 10 years or more, but he has always looked like he has fallen off a building site in all the time I have known him.  Don't get me wrong. anyone who has a job these days earns a big tick in my view, at least they want to work and not live off benefits.

But apparently I am more of snob than I realised, or maybe it is just the inherent desire to better myself kicking in, but this year I was sat in my usual spot in the bar and two blokes walked in.  I recognised one as a grownup version of a youngster who used to work there, did the European 2 kiss thing and exclaimed my shock at how much he had grown up.

I ignored the second bloke until he said 'Hi Tracy' and did the two kiss thing.

Well, I nearly fell off my bar stool.  There was this bloke in a very expensive looking polo shirt and tailored shorts, clean shaven with a slicked back hairstyle.  It was the scruffy bloke I have known for years.  Apparently he runs a language school.

Well, oh my God he could have had me there and then.

I tried to remain cool, but seeing as my mate behind the bar's eyebrows shot up into her hairline I didn't play it as cool as I thought.

In fact, over the next few days, every time he spoke to me I answered with 'giggle dsahdwejgekgauugrb giggle' whereas before I could have a coherent conversation.

Crushes are hard when you are old.